I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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