I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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