This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
