just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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