I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
