She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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