So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
