wat bout pragnant strippers??
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
