Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
