uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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