Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
