Do vagina's smell?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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