Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize