Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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