So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
