Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
