Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
