Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
its liver damage thursday
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
