I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
