I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
