Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
