fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize