I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
