theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
two words...techno handjob
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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