i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
