Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize