Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
