I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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