I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
you win again, gameday.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Randomize
