How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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