so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize