Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
