I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
BRING THE BAGELS
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize