booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
