So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
