I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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