please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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