Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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