is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize