please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
