Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
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