Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
