i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
