I CAN MOONWALK!
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
