Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
