I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
you never un-have a 4some
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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