It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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