whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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