Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Randomize