So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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