are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
