Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
