Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You have to summon your inner elephant
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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