I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
