Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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