I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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