I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize