I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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