This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
The dick lei will go down in squad history
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