there was a trapeze. enough said
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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