she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
