I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
