Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
