is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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