I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize