i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
