I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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